You stopped going.
Maybe it was a slow fade—one missed group, then another. Or maybe you ghosted hard, telling yourself you’d call back tomorrow… and tomorrow never came. Now it’s been weeks, or months, and the idea of returning to DBT feels harder than starting in the first place.
You’re not sure what to say. You’re not even sure they’d take you back. And that knot in your stomach? That’s probably shame.
This blog was written for you—not the perfect version of you who never missed a session, but the real one. The one who’s overwhelmed, unsure, and trying to figure out if it’s too late.
It’s not.
At Bold Steps Behavioral Health, we’ve seen dozens of people step back into DBT after disappearing. We don’t lead with lectures. We don’t ask for confessions. We just say: “Welcome back. Let’s pick up from here.”
1. You’re Not the Only One Who Disappeared
Let’s name one thing clearly: this happens. A lot.
People leave DBT for all kinds of reasons. Maybe you hit a wall emotionally. Maybe life got hectic. Maybe something in the group didn’t feel right. Or maybe you weren’t ready—and that’s okay.
What matters now is not how you left. What matters is that something in you still wants to try again.
And just so you know—you’re not walking into a room full of people who “stuck it out.” You’re walking into a community where returning is part of the story. Lots of folks have paused and restarted more than once. It doesn’t make you flaky. It makes you human.
2. Name the Shame (So It Doesn’t Keep Running the Show)
Shame thrives in silence. It convinces you that you’re the only one who vanished. That the therapist is mad. That you’ve “blown it.” That you have to apologize for taking space before you can be allowed back.
But here’s the thing: DBT is a space where you can take space.
No one expects perfection. DBT was literally designed for people whose emotions get big, whose patterns get messy, and who sometimes disappear when things get hard.
Shame says you have to earn your way back. DBT says you can show up exactly as you are.
Naming your shame doesn’t make it disappear—but it helps you realize it doesn’t get to drive anymore.
3. Let One Small Step Be Enough
You don’t have to rejoin group, sign papers, and open up all at once. You just need to take one doable step:
- A text to your old DBT therapist
- A phone call to the front desk
- An email that simply says, “I want to come back—what’s possible?”
- Even a message to a friend saying, “I think I need DBT again.”
The goal here is momentum, not mastery.
DBT teaches something called “opposite action”—doing the healthy thing even when your emotions are screaming the opposite. Shame says hide. Recovery says, show up anyway. Even if it’s awkward. Even if it’s messy.
One small step is still a win.
4. Know That Restarting Doesn’t Mean Repeating Everything
You might be wondering: Do I have to start from scratch? Sit through all the same lessons again? Explain why I left?
Maybe not.
At Bold Steps, we don’t believe in punishing people with redundancy. If you’re coming back to DBT in Harrisburg or Dauphin County, PA, we’ll talk through where you left off, how you’re feeling now, and what kind of structure works best for you.
That might mean:
- Rejoining your old group
- Joining a new group with a different schedule
- Doing a few individual sessions before returning to group
- Focusing more deeply on certain modules (like Emotion Regulation or Interpersonal Effectiveness)
You’re not the same person who left—and your DBT doesn’t have to look the same either.
5. Remember Why You Came in the First Place
Something brought you to DBT. A relationship that felt out of control. An emotion you couldn’t name without collapsing. A pattern you couldn’t stop. A need to be seen without being judged.
Maybe it helped. Maybe it didn’t—yet.
But even if all you got was one moment of clarity, one tool that worked, one group session where you felt a little less alone—that’s something.
And that something is still waiting for you. Returning to DBT isn’t erasing your progress. It’s reclaiming what you started to build.
6. Understand That Disconnection Is a Skill Issue, Not a Character Flaw
This is one of the biggest insights DBT offers: Most of the stuff that makes us feel “broken” is really just missing skills.
You’re not lazy—you’re emotionally flooded.
You’re not flaky—you’re managing fear with avoidance.
You’re not ungrateful—you’re overwhelmed.
When you ghost, isolate, or shut down, it’s not proof that you can’t do this. It’s a signal that you need more support, not less.
And DBT gives you a structure to come back to—not just to survive, but to eventually stay connected when everything in you wants to bolt.
7. Trust That the Door Is Still Open
It’s normal to imagine the worst:
- “They won’t want me back.”
- “They’ll ask me to explain everything.”
- “They’ve probably replaced me or moved on.”
But DBT is a practice, not a punishment.
If you’re returning to treatment at Bold Steps, you won’t be met with side-eye or shame. You’ll be met with questions like:
- “What kind of support do you need now?”
- “What would help you stay more connected this time?”
- “How can we make re-entry feel doable for you?”
The door never closed. You’re still welcome here.
Looking for DBT in Harrisburg, PA?
Whether you’re ready to return after a short break or it’s been months since you left, we’re here to support your next step.
At Bold Steps Behavioral Health, we offer DBT in Harrisburg and Dauphin County, PA, including group-based and individual treatment options. If you’re in Lancaster County or York County, we’ve got you covered too.
You don’t need to explain everything. You just need to reach out. We’ll meet you where you are.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Will I have to start DBT over from the beginning?
Not necessarily. We’ll look at where you left off and help you restart in a way that makes sense. That might mean joining a new group, doing a skills refresher, or picking up where you left off. You don’t have to repeat everything unless you want to.
Do I need to explain why I left?
You’re welcome to share—but you’re not required to. Our team understands that people leave for all kinds of reasons. We’re more focused on helping you return than on rehashing the past.
What if I’m afraid people in group will judge me?
It’s a common fear, but DBT groups are built to be nonjudgmental. Many people in group have left and returned themselves. Odds are, someone will say, “Same.” You might feel awkward at first—but that usually fades quickly.
Can I come back even if I missed a lot?
Yes. Whether you missed three sessions or thirty, you’re welcome to return. We’ll help you figure out what support you need and how to ease back in.
What if I’m not sure I’m ready?
That’s okay. You can reach out just to talk. Ask questions. Explore your options. Coming back doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Sometimes, just getting clarity is the first step.
Ready to Take the Next Step?
Call 717-896-1880 or visit our DBT services page to explore how to return to treatment—without shame, without pressure, and without starting from scratch.
We saved your seat. It’s still yours.
